Stepped out into the cold, collar high

January slipped by, didn't it?

That's the way it usually goes though. Especially for me. So my 28th birthday has come and gone. (thanks Aravis for stopping by and saying happy birthday) and Kitten's 30th has come and gone. We didn't do anything wild. We went to dinner at a fantastic northern italian restaurant in our town. She's never been there and I think she really enjoyed it. I love to eat there and got a huge kick out of her excitement.

Guitar Hero is an experience. This is one of those circumstances where sometimes the friend is better farther away I think. Well, one, I honestly don't think she likes me now that she lives with us. She hardly ever talks to me and spends a lot more time with Kitten. Of course, she and Kitten work similar hours, but...yeah. I think she thinks I am a stick in the mud. She was giggling over an ad for a topless maid service the other night over dinner and she asked me if I would ever do that. Obviously, no. But she kept on it, and said she thinks that having a maid running around in high heels and a thong is funny. I told her I didn't think the exploitation of women for profit was ever funny. She looked liek I punched her.

She joined an online dating service (I joined it too, as a joke. Go to OKCupid.com and look for tehbonkybonk.) and met this girl. I don't like her. I think she has no manners. Just me, but they've been on two dates and its Luuurve. Gag. And since the only thing they have in common is they both play guitar, Kitten and I have been treated to non-stop whailing on the guitar for the last month now. Last night she even got out the banjo. *sigh*

I'm looking for a new job. I've been cut back to less than 20 hours a week and that's not enough to get by on. Corporate decided we all need less hours. What I think we need is less employees, but that's just me. See, I think if you have six or seven employees that only want to work one day a week or a couple weeks every month, you kick them to the curb and give full tiem schedules to the people who are begging to work 6 days a week...just me. on top of that our restaurant went non-smoking and when you work in the bar, that means no money. I had 4 customers walk out last night because we dont let them smoke at the bar anymore. And two more yelled at me, like it was my decision. "Oh, yeah, the whole staff took a vote. We figure smokers are assholes...sorry."

Anyway. So I've sent out about 30 resumes this last week. I'm going to try to get back into offices. I had an interview two days ago for an HVAC company and I thought it went well when they called me back for a second interview. Turns out they didn't even look at my salary requirements. I told them no less than $12 an hour in the first interview, they told me pay started at 9 in the second interview. Plus the manager warned me ahead of time that the predominately male staff would likely sexually harass me and did I have aproblem with that, so long as they didn't get too out of line? Yeah. They offered me the job. I told them thanks but no thanks.

Guitar Hero let my cat Voodoo out, she's in heat. She's been gone two days and i'm worried. If she comes back she'll be pregnant. Great. If she doesn't...well, I don't want to think about that. I'm hoping for comes home pregnant at this point. Our baby cat Purrsephanie has spent the last two days wandering around the house calling for Voodoo. She's pretty distressed. I cuddle her as much as possible. Unfortunately, I don't think she sees me as quite the companion Voodoo is. We're both anxious I guess. Every time I go to the door to call for her she sit in the doorframe and howls. Poor thing.

In good news, Punk finallymoved out of my mom's house...didn't think that would ever happen...

I finished my first round endit of my novel and am almost through with edit number two. yay. and I started outlining for novel #2, which I'm going to try and start on in March.

Ywah. That's all the exciting news here. I wish It would stop snowing. I know its winter andI live in the midwest and all, but seriously...

Keep warm.
AG/xx

But now that's nothing more than a memory

Well, its the new year, almost. 2009 wrapped up rather nicely for me. The last few days at work have been busier than usual ( a huge plus) and I've had a great holiday. to add the icing to the cake Guitar Hero moved the last of her stuff in today and she's officially our roomie. Yay.

You know, new years is supposed to be the time to make resolutions and reflect on the past and think for the future and all that, so a little of what I learned this year:

I lerned that if I put my nose to the grindstone I can actually accomplish things I am proud of. (like my novel, finally finished and almost done with that horrific first round edit)

I learned that sometimes you have to make choices that will hurt other people but are the best for you. Its not fun, but sometimes it has to be done. And its okay, sometimes, when you have to make that hard decision to feel both a little bit of regret and a lot of pride for doing what's right. I think this year I've done a lot of things that were hard for me, but also really right for me. If you had told me this time last year I'd be happily married, ina healthy relationship and setting realistic goals for my life and for me relationships with other people I would have told you that you were crazy. But it turns out when push came to shove I really did care enough about myself to want to be happy. And I think, honestly, for the first time I can say I am truly happy with my life and the decisions I've made for myself.

I've learned this year that a friend who doesn't love you no matter what isn't really a friend. I've cut loose a lot of people this year and I can't say I am sorry for it. I am sorry that I had poor judgement when it came to some of my friends, and I am sorry that I realized far too late what I needed to do to help myself. But Ican't be sorry I let them go. I keep happy memories to always enjoy, but it seems those are few and far between with the parties concerned.

I learned this year what a real friend is. I have a lot of people in my life right now that are supportive, loving and honest with me. And I need that. A few of them propbably should have cut me loose too, and I am glad they were patient with me and saw me through some of my worst times. I feel like I especially ought to mention Perpet here, who listened to me talk about how miserable I was for the last two years and gave me great advice, which I ignored and sometimes resented her for, but stuck it out with me and has seen me become the person I ought to be, the person I've been trying to become for the last five years. I think I finally made it, and I am proud to say I didn't loose her as a friend along the way, although by rights I probably should have. Having her stand next to me on my wedding day, the way I did with her, and knowing that I was going into a life commitment that was healthy and strong was a happy moment for me.

I learned that there is no substitute for real love, be it romantic or the love of friends. Its not somethign that can be faked, and when you have the real thing every other imitation you've known seems silly.

I learned that with my family sometimes there isn't any winning, but I can keep from losing. I've had to make compromises with my family this year that I didn't want to make but Ithink its been for the best. I love my family, but I don't always like them, and this year had been an eye opening one for me, in that I know now how to better deal with them. I've found that I have a lot of resentment towards my family, and I am trying to deal with it in the most adult manner I can. I don't know I'm always mature, but I've been trying to keep in mind my personal goals and deal with them the best I can. Its all I can do.

I think this year I've learned to set reasonable goals for myself, and I've found that they're attainable. I also have learned to never settle for less than I deserve, which is doing me a lot of good both professionally and personally. I've leanred its okay to indulge myself every now and again. I've learned that there are some things too, that are not indulgences. Thinking of myself, wanting to be happy, taking care of myself, taking time to relax and be happy are all things I shouldn't reserve for special occasions. I should be doing it all the time. And I'm doing better about it. I don't feel guilty asking for what I want, and I'm finding I am less bitter about the compromises I make, because they are honest to goodness compromises and not sacrifices on my part. I've learned what it is to come halfway. I like it.

This has been a good year for me. It really has. I'm proud of how I am doing. I like myself now. I like who I am. And for a year's worth of work? That's pretty darn good I think.

I love you all. I hope you have something happy to recall this year, and you've learned something worthwhile. Even if its something small.

Here's to a new year friends. I'm ready to move on.

AG/xx

It begining to look a lot like Christmas

I got home last night to a pleasant and adorable surprise. Kitten's dad had brought by my Christmas gift. Last week he and Cat and Teddy had come by my work and I got to sit with them for a few hours (we we so not busy) and he asked what I wanted for Christmas. Jokingly, I said feather pillows. I've been needing a new pillow, the one I sleep with is one I've had since before I left high school. Turns out he was listening. And he got me real feather pillows. the kind that poke through the pillow. Only mine have a special lining so they don't poke. Either way, it was so sweet and considerate of him to remember. When I called him to thank him he said he brought it by early because he knew I had been feeling poorly. How sweet is that?

Now, my mother, on the other hand, not so sweet. I talked to her this morning about Christmas dinner. I told her Kitten and I had talked it over (we have) and that we wanted to have Christmas dinner at our house. I tried to explain that I understood her concern about my brother and that I totally didn't want her to feel caught in the middle. I offered this compromise: We would come by, around noon, after we finished at Kitten's mom's house. We would bring presents and eat cookies and say hello and I could see my brother on Christmas and her concience would be clear. Then, in the evening, she could come over and have dinner with us. I feel its important I get to cook dinner this year, its kitten and I's first Christmas married and I want to cook for her. We wanted to spend thanksgiving alone and I gave in to my mom on that one, i figure I've earned this one.

She pretty much told me I was forcing her to have Christmas alone and how dare I hate my brother so much as to leave him out. I tried very calmly to explain that he would be welcome in my house if I could reasonably expect him to not show up drunk or yelling if him and her have a fight, or that no one be offended when I throw him out for cussing and calling my mom names in my home, because I wouldn't tolerate that.

She called me a bitch and hung up on me.

So I suppose its just me and Kitten and Guitar Hero this year. I'm okay with this, I'm getting better at being okay with being at odds with my mom. I'm tired of havng to rearrange my schedule and do everything because its how my brother wants it done or because its more convineient to him. She treats him like a husband. He's not my father. He doesn't make my decisions for the holidays. I do. Every year it seems I end up rearranging my holiday plans for him. I am not doing it any more. My mom is making the choice to spend Christmas alone. I can't feel bad about it anymore.

Tis the season

Well, its about a week before Christmas. I think I am almost worn out on the holiday. It makes me rather sad, because I normally like Christmas and I've been working hard to make Christmas something special for Kitten, because she has always disliked the holiday so much. This year, I sort of understand why she isn't so keen on it, although, honestly, she seems more excited than I do right now.

Trying to arrange family time for all of our parents seemed like it was going to be an easy thing to do. We agreed to spend Christmas Eve night with Kitten's dad and step mom. We are going to go to midnight mass with them. I am looking forward to that, because I have never been, and I heard its really beautiful. Guitar Hero is coming with us, she's very much a part of the family now. She even came to my extended family's Christmas dinner at my Grandmother's request. It was suprisingly ueventful.

Kitten's mom wanted us to spend Christmas Eve night with her, but we told her no. I think its a little too much. Kitten has been upset with her, and although they've talked it out, I still don't feel inclined to sleep in a strange house over the holidays. We're having breakfast with her the next morning, and doing her present swap then. We have to be there at nine. Its early, but she wouldn't agree to anything later. I'm nervous about that. Kitten is supposed to be cooking. Kitten's sister, Cat, said a few years ago they were both 15 minutes late and she had a meltdown. Yikes. But hopefully we can get in and out and get back home to ourselves for a while.

Here's the big troule. We were going to have my mom over for dinner Christmas day night and I was going to cook dinner. It was easier. My brother was supposed to be going to Vegas with his girlfriend, but that didn't work out. But my mom just told me that this morning. Which means he is going to be there. We've already made plans that Guitar Hero will be with us at our house because we want her there, and she'll be moving in shortly, and because I think she'll need the break from her family too, honestly.

Now my mom wants us to come over in the evening and just have a few snacks and stuff because she doesn't want to cook. Trouble is, I want to cook Christmas dinner. But I don't want Punk at our house. Partly because I don't trust him and partly because I've been making progress with my mom and I don't feel like moving backwards because I have to kick him (and subsequesntly her - his ride) out of the house because he is cussing or screaming at her. I don't want to put up with that. Also, he will make it a habit of showing up drunk and raging at me every time he is angry with mom. You can see why I might not want him to be familiar with how to get to my house.

So what do I do? Skip me cooking dinner and go over there? I offered to drop the presens by and visit for a while so I could see him and then she could come over for dinner later. She already said he had plans for later that night. She doesn't think that is fair to her. I don't know how, but it apparently isn't . She won't settle for anything but us coming over and spending the whole evening at her house. Which is tiny. It was crowded with just four of us at Thanksgiving. We all had to sit in the floor to eat. Our house would be much more comfortable, and she wouldn't have to spend money on cooking. But she isn't hearing me. What do I do? I'm going to talk it over with Kitten, but I have a feeling none of us will be happy with whatever the solution will be. Mom has already pulled the "well, if you want me to spend Christmas alone, I guess I will, and better get used to it since you're going tomove away and abandonme soon anyhow" card. She's mad my Grandmother is going to visit her sister in Kansas City for the holidays, and thinks its unfair she won't have anyone to spend it with, although I know she and one of my aunts are having lunch and a movie on Christmas Day.

I'm stuck again. Bleh.

Casa Bueno didn't throw us a Christmas party this year, and I'm in charge of organizing the unofficial party for this Sunday. Its stressing me out because the place we all agreed to go wants a $40 deposit and honestly I don't have the $40 sitting around unused. I might hit a few of my co-workers up for the money tonight, we'll see.

Kitten's Christmas paarty for the Happy Waffle is this Monday, and I really don't want to go to it either, but she doesn't get her Christmas bonus if she doesn't go and I want her to get the bonus. I won't leave her to go by herself.

Yeah, I'm not so much for the holidays anymore, they're a huge pain in the tail.

A Partridge in a Pear Tree

November passed in a haze. Thanksgiving was uneventful. I made a pot roast for me and Kitten and her mom. We played Scrabble. Nothing of note really there.

Last week Kitten's sister Cat got married to her sweetie Teddy. I was happy for them. They're really sweet. The wedding went well and she looked beautiful. I was pleased and surprised that they insisted I was in all the family photos. It made me feel both loved and accepted. It meant a lot to me.

Christmas is just around the corner and I'm happy to say I've got nearly all my shopping done. It's awesome. I just need to get a few stocking stuffers for Kitten and Guitar Hero, and to pick up one last thing for Cat and Teddy and we'll be all set. Kitten is making our stockings. Mine is pink flannel with Snow White on the front of it. It has my Initial and a line of pink ribbons across the hem of the top. Its beautiful. We're all getting princess stockings this year. Kitten gets Aurora and Guitar Hero gets Cinderella. She was giving us a hard time about the princess stockings so we went and got her Christmas Disney Princess wrapping paper for all her gifts.

Kitten caved now that Guitar Hero has the back room done so we get to put up a Christmas tree as soon as we find the key to our shed. We've misplaced it somehow. Oops.

That's about all that's new and exciting here.

xx/AG

Stand by me

So, the handfasting ceremony took place on November 8th. All of our friends came and were super supportive. We thought it was really beautiful. We got our capes and my dress done in time and the stress level was next to nothing because Perpet and Guitar Hero took care of everything for us the day of the wedding. We even had time to clip ina little nap.

There isn't much I can tell you about the ceremony that will be of interest to you that you couldn't google and fine out, but I thought I might post my vows for you to see, if you like. They aren't quite the traditional vows, so...

I, Alecya, do take you, Kitten, as my partner and mate. Never will I seek to do you harm; always will I strive for your happiness and welfare. My love will be your treasure in the times when other riches fail to serve. My love will be your medicine in sickness as my hand tends your needs. My love will be your mirth when your heart is touched by sadness. My love will be your shining star through the darkest of nights. My love will be your banquet when life’s table seems empty. All this do I promise you with all the love that is in my heart. So may it be.

I thought it was beautiful.

Anyway, after that we took our drive down to Florida. Since most of you have an idea of where I live it won't suprise you we took two days to do it since it was over 1,000 miles to get there. We were a huge joke for our friends, we had to upgrade our rental car because of all of our luggage. We had somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 bags between the two of us, not counting hatboxes and the cooler and stuff. We ended up ina Ford Focus that we named Frederick. The drive down was okay. Once we hit Alabama it was okay. I'll save the story for another post but I am not a huge fan of the state of Mississippi after the trip.

We got to FLorida and it was beautiful. We had a great time. I'll tell you all about the trip in some posts too.

I brought more pictures. If you want to see all my pics, friend me on facebook. I have two albums devoted to the honeymoon and one for the wedding. Its under Alecya Giovanni. Just message me to tell me who you are becuse I don't accept strangers as friends.

Love you all.



Me and Kitten with Stitch at Epcot.

Kitten meeting her favorite Princess, the Princess Aurora. She was delighted. It was so cute.


Me and Kitten preparing for a night out at Victoria and Alberts. Its a super fancy restuarant. We had 8 courses of bliss. It was fun to dress up. (there was a dress code)



Me and stitch.

Who's the leader of the club?

And I am back from the honeymoon.

The ceremony went well. It was beautiful. I managed not to cry (in front of anyone)

The honeymoon was amazing and I wish we could have stayed another two weeks. I'll have more pictures up shortly.

Love you all.