That's why I feel so beautiful

I won the contest. Wow. I am so excited. And Ican't believe how many people came to hear me sing. A lot of them were Kitten's friends and that made me feel really good. Of course herEx had to show up because she was riding with one of the other girls that came. I'm proud to say that this time I was mature about everything. I didn't drink myself stupid and I focused and had a nice time. And I won. I feel really really good about myself.

As a side bonus my mom was there and she told me the morning after how very much she likes Kitten. Says she's not only supportive and good and sweet but also "the most attractive girl you've ever dated" Squee. Its nice to have her on my side.

This weekend we went out to Precious's house for a bonfire. She lives in the country and it was really really nice. We sat and listened to music and joked around and I got toplay with the dogs. It was nice. I haven't been in a position where I could go out and run around in the mud and get sloppy and wet and smell like an animal and not have my partner care. I think Kitten was amused. Hell, I was.

This week is supposed to be the hardest week of the year for us. Cinco De Mayo is a huge day for our restaurant and mother's day is following close behind. I'll be tired come next monday. I'm happy though, I like the money and I have a lot of hours this week.

I put in the 30 days notice on the apartment Plush and I used to share. To be honest, I'm looking forward to having a bit of a break from him. It's wearing me down emotionally, and honestly, being around him is the only time I ever feel really bad about ymself anymore. I'm really happy the rest of the time. He's been a bit of a jerk lately, so I'm having even more trouble being sympathetic. He wants to talk to me about how he feels, and I listen, but I don't know I'm the person he should be confiding to about our breakup. I know he has other friends. He says they just badmouth me, and he wants constructive advice. I think he needs a therapist. Not me. I mean, when do I stop being a supportive friend and start being an ex-fiancee? I don't know.

That said, life is going pretty well for me. I've got some glorious pictures of Friday night, I'll be posting those soon.

AG/xx