The new job is going well, but you know, its not really as easy as I thought it would be. I mean, the music and the soundboard are easy. Its the making people happy that's difficult. And you know, I'm not good as far as people skills go.
A typical night for me:
8:30 Set up equipment. Turn on televisions. Wrestle with input cord for video.
9:00 turn on music. Make mental note of what's playing. Set out karaoke books on tables.
9:15 Sing first song of the night to a nearly empty bar.
Play random upbeat music, but not the really popular stuff, not just yet. Encourage people to sing. Mention drink specials every twenty minutes or so.
10:30 Play a guessing game with a slightly fuller bar. Warn people that at midnight when they're drunk enough to sing I'll start running out of time.
If bar seriously full, make drunks play with hoola hoops for free shots. Laugh my ass off on the inside.
11:30 Play cupid shuffle. Dance with lots of drunk girls. Steal back fedora you wear every night from a drunk who thinks its cute.
Start playing the really popular music.
Midnight: Sing cheers theme song with a full bar. Start getting lots and lots of karaoke slips.
12:25 Argue with a drunk who wants to sing a song that's already been done. Tell them you won't play Cupid shuffle again just because they got there late.
12:45 take payoff from someone who really wants to sing but didn't get to the bar in time or waited too long and wouldn't get to sing otherwise. Listen to them swear they're awesome. They suck.
12:50 Tell obnoxious drunk you don't care if they know the owner, you still aren't moving them up in order unless they pay you off. You don't care if they're Barrak Obama's best friend. Tell people they can't sing if they don't have a slip in. Remind them the bar closes in ten minutes.
12:51 Tell a random drunk they can't sing. The bar closes in ten minutes.
1:00 Play closing song. Listen to eight people whine that they want to dance. Try not to mention they've been there all night and not danced one time yet.
1:15 break down equipment, save one michrophone. Call over speakers tabs that haven't been paid.
1:30 smoke with boss. Watch as bouncers throw out drunks. Laugh. Listen to bar gossip about customers for the night. Share your particularly annoying patron stories. Enjoy the collective staff eye roll at the idiocy of drunks.
1:45 Have a bouncer walk you to car.
Its not so bad. I just have a seriously low level of empathy. And I get more people making passes at me than I ever have in my life. Its weird. I have some deliciously funny stories for you. I'll have to make a go at those later this week.
Off to work now.
Sing a song for me.