I got home last night to a pleasant and adorable surprise. Kitten's dad had brought by my Christmas gift. Last week he and Cat and Teddy had come by my work and I got to sit with them for a few hours (we we so not busy) and he asked what I wanted for Christmas. Jokingly, I said feather pillows. I've been needing a new pillow, the one I sleep with is one I've had since before I left high school. Turns out he was listening. And he got me real feather pillows. the kind that poke through the pillow. Only mine have a special lining so they don't poke. Either way, it was so sweet and considerate of him to remember. When I called him to thank him he said he brought it by early because he knew I had been feeling poorly. How sweet is that?
Now, my mother, on the other hand, not so sweet. I talked to her this morning about Christmas dinner. I told her Kitten and I had talked it over (we have) and that we wanted to have Christmas dinner at our house. I tried to explain that I understood her concern about my brother and that I totally didn't want her to feel caught in the middle. I offered this compromise: We would come by, around noon, after we finished at Kitten's mom's house. We would bring presents and eat cookies and say hello and I could see my brother on Christmas and her concience would be clear. Then, in the evening, she could come over and have dinner with us. I feel its important I get to cook dinner this year, its kitten and I's first Christmas married and I want to cook for her. We wanted to spend thanksgiving alone and I gave in to my mom on that one, i figure I've earned this one.
She pretty much told me I was forcing her to have Christmas alone and how dare I hate my brother so much as to leave him out. I tried very calmly to explain that he would be welcome in my house if I could reasonably expect him to not show up drunk or yelling if him and her have a fight, or that no one be offended when I throw him out for cussing and calling my mom names in my home, because I wouldn't tolerate that.
She called me a bitch and hung up on me.
So I suppose its just me and Kitten and Guitar Hero this year. I'm okay with this, I'm getting better at being okay with being at odds with my mom. I'm tired of havng to rearrange my schedule and do everything because its how my brother wants it done or because its more convineient to him. She treats him like a husband. He's not my father. He doesn't make my decisions for the holidays. I do. Every year it seems I end up rearranging my holiday plans for him. I am not doing it any more. My mom is making the choice to spend Christmas alone. I can't feel bad about it anymore.