Friday, August 05, 2005

Facing the Reality

Its Official. I am an Addict.

Hello, my name is Alecya and I am a reality TV addict. I have watched all 10 seasons of Survivor. I know all the winner's names. I also watch American Idol, The Bachelor/ette, Average Joe, The Cut, Hell's Kitchen, Rock Star INXS, Wife Swap, Extreme Makover, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Teh Amazing Race, and America's Next Top Model. Yes, I taped Rob and Amber's wedding.

I will admit crushes on reality TV stars. I regularly check their websites. I vote in online poles. I play fantasy games. I go to message boards. And now, I blog about them.

I fear that my addiction will soon swallow me whole. My TV schedule revolves around them. While I was once a nice girl who went out of an evening, played with my pets and cooked my love dinner; I have turned into a monster who refuses to take phone calls during prime time TV. A frozen pizza is on the counter for my beloved. My cat, who seeks love from me, will be snarled at "Not right now Bubba - MiG's about to sing." My dogs wonder if I love them. I am thinking of naming my first child after Mark Burnett.

I used to mock men who yelled at the TV screen during ball games. Now I know how they feel. I find myself shouting things like "No, he stole your steak Jessica!" and "Are you KIDDING? I hate Rupert! Don't give him a million bucks!" I cried when Shii Ann held her bucket the longest. I watch replays of Jordis on my computer obsessively.

I have resolved to take the 12 Step Program for Reality TV addicts. As Follows:

1. I admit I am powerless over reality TV--that my life has become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than my TV could restore me to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of outdoor activity and healthy relationships
4. Made a searching and fearless TV outline, disavowing reality TV
5. Admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.
6. I am entirely ready to remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked others to help me to remove my shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Including my dogs, cats, neighbors and telemarketers that I have screamed at. Well, maybe not them. I woudl have screamed anyway.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory of when I cannot be allowed to have the remote control and when I slip up I promptly admit it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with the outside world.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other eality TV addicts.

With this in mind, I went to a message board I am fond of and went to tell them the good news relating to our impending recovery. I chanced across a fan thread. People were going crazy, posting spoilers for a new season of survivor, talking about people they had met, re-writing entire seasons to suit their ideal winners needs. Writing entire non-existent seasons, to mix and mingle the characters of other seasons, photochopping pictures to pair couples ideally. And I thought to myself. Man, these people have a problem. I am not so bad afterall.

Good thing. I need to go vote for may favotire INXS singer. And write ABC about Dancing withthe stars. The ending sucked.

Well. I'm off to do more good. Until then...Keep it real!

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