Friday, April 21, 2006

Keep it Separated

I think I have a few more questions to answer. I think the next in line was my most memorable compliment. That one was easy. On my prom night I was headed out to my car and one of the school's basketball players stopped me and told me I looked pretty. I had liked him a great deal before that, and that moment cemented him in my memory because Preacher man had neglected to compliment me that evening. It meant a lot to me that he had said something. It made me feel very lovely indeed.

Next up is shorty's I think, on what sports I played or liked as a child.

In personal news, my mother has made me angry again. She insulted my new job [and me] and invited me to church [which I have repeatedly asked her not to do] and then went and told my grandmother a whole pack of lies about how I refuse to see her and the step kids and how I dont love them any more, etc. It wears me out. I didnt see my mom on easter,which is likely badof me, but I am tired of being the adult. I'm 24, she's 47. She can buck up and apologize to me. She owes me one. [well, more than one, but the one will do]

My gran also said some pretty sad things about my brother, whom I dont talk about much. His addiction problems [Meth, cocaine, alchohol, among others] are getting worse and he looks like a skeleton more and more when I see him. I dsont know what to say, every time I think about broaching the subject with him about his problems I know he will shoot back at me that I did it as well. Its true, but I stopped before it hurt me too badly. Gran said there was nothing we could do but wait to see if he would stop or if he would kill himself from it. I hate that sort of fatality. It runs in my family. My mom will say "well, he'll do it whether I want him to or not" and then gives him drug money telling herself she cant stop it so why bother. *sigh* I suppose I better say something, if only to know I tried, right?


HistoryGeek said...

I'm sorry to hear about your brother.

Aravis said...

I'm so sorry about your brother, alecya. Alanon might help you cope. Your grandmother is pretty much right though. Unless he really wants to stop, he won't. You can hope he finds his bottom and chooses to seek help. Your mother enabling him slows this of course, you're right. Telling him how worried you are is good. It might help, even if it doesn't seem like it right away. He'll remember. You might also research local detoxes and rehabs to make that info available for him if he's interested. But again, unless and until he's ready it won't work.

Sometimes one has to get sicker before getting better. I'll be keeping your brother in my thoughts, and you as well. *hug*

adem said...

Sorry that you've been getting sh*t from the family.

On the brother front, you can't really do anything unless he wants to change too. Just be a great sister and make it known that you worry about him, and would like to help. Even if it's not about him stopping just make sure that whatever he's doing, he's doing it in the safest possible manner and that you are there for support if he needs it.

That's just my view on it, but apart from doing some courses on Drugs and Alcohol I haven't had much first contact with addiction.


Anonymous said...

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I do have a suggestion on how to deal with your pain regarding your brother, but before I just post it on your site, may I suggest you contact me through my ON THE SURFACE Site on the link list on my sidebar. If you so desire.

I do believe I have some valuable information.

I wish you and your brother the best.

Mark said...

you can't change someone.

i tried. Enjoy Lillithpoolooza