Monday, January 02, 2006

'Cause That's Just Who I am This Week

Happy New Years everyone. I suppose we've all recovered from our celebrating at this point. I am certainly better for the new year starting. I know most of us were looking forward to starting fresh.

I had a bit of an epiphany this weekend, and I want to share it. (that,s right, sit down...)

I feel like I haven't been making myself happy. I am fortuante to have a very full life. I have someone I care about who cares about me as well. I took a chance with Nano and ended up wtih a lot of new friends and a lot of inspiration that I wouldn't have had otherwise. I have also been a lot happier since I started blogging, and I think that is because I can get my ideas off my chest and get feedback on occasion.

Still, I have also allowed myself to become lazy. I am not as happy as I could be because I am comfortable where I am. I have not wanted to do anything to interrupt the day to day activities in my life for fear of unpleasant repercussion. Because of that, I think I have misse dout on a lot of good things for myself. And that's something I want to change.

So, I listed a bunch of things I want to do for myself this year, and it seems like a long list of resolutions, but I flatter myself in thinking on occasion you'll help to remind me what I want for myself, because I tend to lose track of it.

This year, I will:
1. Give my honest opinion, even if I know I will be disagreed with, and possibly rebuked for my opinion
2. stand up for myself
3. be healthier
4. Live the way I want to, not the way others expect me to
5. Become more confident
6. Learn to love and respect myself
7. Write
8. Consider myself when I make decisions
9. Not fight things I cannot change
10. Live without regret for my actions
11. Love the people I care for without reserve or excuse
12. Tell someone when they hurt of anger me
13. Be proud of the things I accomplish, however small
14. Be honest with myself
15. Not allow myelf to be taken advantage of
16. Appreciate my own beauty, inside and out
17. Demonstrate to my friends that I love and appreciate them
18. comfort the people I can
19. Be honest and supportive to those I cannot comfort
20. Not ingnore my feelings and intuition

a lot of these will be very hard for me to do, and I expect I will blog form time totime about the pain I cause myself in trying to do these things, but I think they are important, and I want to give it a try. I feel as if I have been asleep a very long time. Its time for me to wake up at last.

For the record, the support you all have shown me in the last 5 months, and especially the last week or so has meant the world to me. Its nice to know that there is someone out there, however far away, that's cheering for you.

I have great love and appreciation for all of you. I honestly do.

With love, and hope-


HistoryGeek said...

Glad to hear that things are going well. Hmmm...things to do for yourself. That's a novel concept I ought to investigate!

swisslet said...

sounds like a plan to me! We'll get you through that first triathlon yet, tiger!