Friday, February 24, 2006

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Mystery pointed me to this site, which is great for a laugh.

Chuck's favorites include....

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Good for a giggle. My Grandfather loved Delta Force. I used to scare me.


swisslet said...

I got something like this as an email a little while ago when I was at work, and it made me laugh until I cried. I'm not sure what it is really. Chuck Norris is clearly ridiculous, and somehow this is just perfect. Have you seen "dodgeball"? One of the greatest cameos in cinema history, and one of the most memorable last lines.

Chuck Norris is aware of this site, and he released a statement along the lines of "kids will be kids".



(who doesn't sleep, he waits)

Mark said...

Chuck is also the only man who passed a franchise onto his son. "Operation Delta Force" sees the real life children of ... ah nope. I'm wrong. It's actors pretending to be their children.

Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris helped Average Joe's Gym beat the Globogym Cobra's in the dodgeball final.

Sorry to read that your job fell through. That sucks. Beloved shouldn't be angry, it's hardly your fault. Keep at it, something will come along that you'll really enjoy.

Alecya G said...

I actually have Dodgeball on DVD, Swiss and I love it. It makes me laugh too, in part, I think because I did watch Delta Force and all that with my Grandad when I was young and I was terrified of him...

Phil - good to see you 'round again. Congrats on your job, sir. I am sure you are very excited.

swisslet said...

update - I'm off to a birthday party next weekend. My friend John turns 32 on the 4th March, I 24?... on 7th March and our friend Mik turns 32 on 14th march. I just bought them t-shirts....

one says "chuck norris doesn't sleep. he waits..."

the other says "Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people".

I'm thinking they'll go down a storm.


HistoryGeek said...

My personal favorite was "CN's had is the only one that beats a royal flush." Brilliance!

Aravis said...

My favorite was the one about staring down the books. *G* Thanks for sharing the link!