Make a turn for the camera

Well, I haven't posted a load of pictures in a while, so I thought I would show you what I've been up to in my spare time lately...

This is me and Kitten at the local zoo.

This is Kitten feednig a giraffe for the first time. There's a silly one of me too, but she looks so collected. You can tell I've just jumped back because I've been slobbered on.

This is a random shot of me sitting on the ledge of the conservation building at our locala zoo. There's some monkeys out on that island out beyond where I am sitting and there's tons of fish and birds below it.

This is a picture I took at the local park with the water feature in it of my Kitten looking awfully cute. We were drying out from a romp in the water feature.

This is us together (obviously). Guitar Hero took this one. The sunshine was glorious that day. I got a bit of a tan, even though you can't tell.

This is our indoor kitty Delylah wanting to play Cranium with us. She looks rather like she knows what she's doing, doesn't she?

The cat came back the very next day

My life as a dj is over. I like it. I've needed the sleep.

In other, and I think more interesting, news:

We have a new cat. Well, sort of. The thing is that about a month and a half maybe two months ago our big grey cat Samson slipped out of the house somehow and he never came back. Well, we were heartbroken and we'e consoling ourselves with the thought some old lady in our neighborhood has taken him in and he's living the high life. In the mean time, I've been looking at all the poor little strays in our neighborhood with an increasing amount of sympathy. Kitten keeps telling me I can't feed them all. And then this one shows up in our back yard:

He was way worse looking at first. He had scratches and scabs all over him and he was way skinnier and looked half starved. His size though, we figured he's only about a year old. Well, I begged and pleaded for Kitten to let me feed him because I'd been calling to him out the back window for half an hour and he wasn't running away. She let me, so I took out a bowl of water and some food for him.

Rather than running away though, he dashed up and started crying at me. He rolled over immediately and let me pet him. Kitten came out and he was rubbing on her too. After we pet him he ate and he's stuck around. He was staying under our neighbor lady's tree but he's moved onto our front porch.

Over the last two weeks he's gotten fatter, and sweeter and he's healing up and starting to look like a healthy, normal cat. At first Kitten swore he was never to come in the house, but she's already making contingency plans for the winter time, so he doesn't freeze. She's even gone so far as to say if I want to risk it I can bathe him.

When she broke down and bought outdoor cat food for him and started making reference to him as our cat, I knew we had a new family member.

His name is Jinx.

I think he's kind of cute, actually.

Don't turn around (pt. 1)

Your face never had soft lines. They were always hard, and deep. Something feirce was always about you, in your smile, in your laugh, in your eyes. You were hard around the edges. I could see it. There was always something feral about you. Something untamed and wild and I loved it.

I wanted to gentle you, to break you, part of me. I never did.

I remember the night I opened the door to you, on my porch, in the pouring rain. You were drunk, and angry and hard. I could see you were scared, though you never ever admitted to that. I remember letting you in, my breath going out of me quickly - my heart pounding. I wasn't sure what to do with you. You didn't want me. I could see that, feel it in your voice. But you did need me, if only for that one night.

I remember the smell of alcohol and cigarettes on your breath as you climbed into bed beside me. I remember the sound of your breathing and you laid there, tense, as though I'd ask things from you I wouldn't have had the courage to ask for even if they had occured to me. I remember the smell of the dye in your hair and the shampoo on your neck as I laid there. The feeling of your car keys inside my pillow where I'd hidden them.

When you slept, you were soft. Your sighs and moans were soft, even if the dreams you were having weren't. Your skin was silk and velvet next to me, shivering in my pajamas and wondering just what I was going to do with you. Wondering why you had come to me of all people.

I remember the feeling of my lips on your neck, brushing your hairline as I kissed you goodnight, and the ache in my chest as I held you close to me and thought of all the things I wished I had the courage to tell you. How could I? I didn't know what you would think, I could only imagine the worst and even at that I had no idea how to say everything I felt. There weren't words for it in my vocabulary - not at the time.

I remember the tears, hot on my cheek and cold as they ran down my neck into the soft floral bedsheet between us. I remember the pain behind my eyes and the throb inside my chest, like a million tiny needles sewing me up tight as I felt myself losing every part of you and me while you slept the sleep of one who has carried more burden than they should.

I remember the hard wood of my porch under my feet and the sound of your car engine as you pulled away. Tiny splinters working their way into my feet and my ears and every other part of me that I was able to feel. There wasn't much left to feel.

The key I held was cold, the fire hot, the ribbon soft as I worked my spell for you. You were gone, you had to be, and I wasn't ready to loose you. Not then, not ever. And so I said to myself I would tie you to me. I would hold you in my heart. I would mix myself into your destiny if I could at all. I remember the smell of the inscence I burned and the rough feeling of the box I put that key into. Waiting, that was all I had left to me then.

It was hot the night I saw you again. Not just warm, but sweat inducing, breath stealing heat that stole through the bar and wrapped us all up as we danced and drank. The lights were blinding for a moment. And then I saw you again. Saw you in red and green and yellow. Saw you in the black you always seemed to wear. And you were hard still. Your arms and legs and back were hard. Your eyes sparkled with the determination to forget and to live in the moment. I felt that tie then, that key glowing in its box in my dresser, waiting for you to feel it as well.

You put your arms around me, like the night I first met you. You were glazed over and raw and you held me closer than anyone had a right to. I let you, and I held you nack and felt you moving next to me and I let myself go. The liquor, the nicotine, everything inside me set loose all in one go and you were there to catch me in the moment of freedom. And then you were gone, at the hand of a friend and I couldn't see you, couldn't find you anywhere.

I grew hard. Colder on the inside. And I remembered why I wanted to be that way. I remember thinking to myself of snow falling in my chest and ice filming over my eyes. And I went home, and let the icicles come down on my pillow and I slept while I waited for you.

I want to be the one to walk in the sun

The last week has been rather uneventful, with the exception of the fact we were rather busiers at The Speakeasy over the last six days. Its almost time for the college students to come back and I am grateful. I think I am improving at my job. It makes me happy. Last night our website developer and all around technology guru Knowsit (because I swear, and I'm not making fun, he seems to know everything) told me I've really hit my stride as a DJ and that made me very happy.

The Fourth was a bit of a let down for me. I worked at both jobs so I didn't do much that was interesting, and seeing as how I live in the midwest surrounded by three very big sporting lakes within a short drive...yeah, no one was out and about. Everyone was shooting off fireworks and enjoying the holiday far away from the city. Of course, it was on a saturday so we were staffed for a big night. I spent most of the evening watching our bartenders and door guys sneak outside and play with these huge sparklers as long as my legs. It was cute.

Last night we had a rugby team that was from Whales in the bar. Apparently they come every year. They were a lot of fun. And they wanted to sing. All night. I loved them. And they were very sweet to me. I liked it. At the end of the night though they were all running around the bar with their shirts off shouting "no shirt Tuesday!" a joke started by one of our now-bartenders that they took with a little more seriousness than I think was intended. I nearly choked on my cigarette when I saw Benz, our bartender last night, shouting from across the bar "Put your pants back on!" A fun night.

I see that Massachusetts filed a suit against the federal government today in response to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) this won't be the first one they've filed, but I can keep my fingers crossed that they are more successful. You can look here for the AP article on the lawsuit. I'm not nearly as concise as they are, although I'll be following this one a closely. In other gay marriage news, federal judge in California set a new lawsuit intending to overturn Prop 8 on a fast track for hearing. That'll be interesting. It feels like time for a change. I hope so....

Brandi Carlisle is coming to a big city near me for a concert in September. I think Kitten and I might go, we might take some friends along too. Its nice to have activites to go on. I feel morelike I have a life than I have in years. I keep thinking that its terrible to ask off of worka nd I'm betryaing my employers and then I think to myself, no I have plenty of time to work and not so muchtime being young. I've wasted a lot of the last two or three years working all the time and having no fun unless it was past 11pm and before 3 am so I had enough time to sleep. Surely part of why I've been healthier lately is I am getting out of doors and enjoying the sunshine and exercising and doing things with my friends that have nothing to do with drinking or smoking and everything to do with enjoying being myself.

Four months until The Honeymoon with Kitten. I'm excited.

Oh, and Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is released in theaters next week. Squee! Did anyone else read that Rupert Grint had swine flu? I thought I saw that on the AP last week...

That's me in a nutshell. I'm off to do laundry and be a happy housewife.

AG/xx

Put on your pretty lies

I haven't posted in over a week, I feel like I'm slacking!

I've been busy. Between work and work and life. Last week Kitten's Aunt Em came to visit and it was fun, but i am glad to have the house back to myself. There's something nice about beign able to run around the house in your underoos or nothing at all and not worry about bumping into anyone. The house was getting messy too. I didn't have time to clean, beacuse we were out doing stuff all the time. I have to admit I never realized how private a person I was until I had to share the house. I felt really unsociable most of the week. I wanted to sleep a lot too, that never helps. But working two jobs is tiring. Especially when one keeps you up late....

Kitten bought me a ring. Its beautiful and I love it. I'll be taking pictures and putting it up shortly. I totally girled out. It was sweet. I could go on forever about how happy I am but you get enough of that. I'll spare you.

Work at the club is still going well. I think I'm getting better. This is the first time I have ever had a job where I feel the constant need to improve. I like it. Its stress, but in a good way. My boss likes me and all of my co-workers are awesome.

My life at Casa Bueno is not so great right now. My scheduling manager has cut my hours big time as punishment for me getting another job. The hours suck and I'm not making a whole lot of money. I hate that feeling, like I'm not contributing much. I am contemplating quitting, but that won't help money matters until I have another job in hand, so I'm there for the time being.

I've had quite a bit of drama from Kitten's ex and her friend this last week. It was making me angry, but I'm to the point now where I can laugh about it. It seems Ex has finally started to remember all of Kitten's redeeming qualities and she misses her. She has started texxting her and trying to spend time with her, telling Kitten she can "try to be nice" to me if she can hang out with her. Her efforts at being nice to me are minimal at best, and Kitten is putting her out at every turn. She came up to The Speakeasy the other night while I was working with Kitten's friends. Kitten ignored her most of the night. We were going to go on a float trip with Ex and some of Kittens other friends, but we've decided not to go. I can't get off work and Kitten won't go without me. They've spent the last week trying to convince her to leave me being and either sleep in Ex's tent or to bring along one of her former paramours. Its not working. I'm pleased Kitten is demonstrating so much loyalty to me, and she's plainly told them to stop disrespeccting me. Another thing I very much appreciate.

One of her other old flames just broke up with her girlfriend and came up to the Speakeasy on Saturday to convince Kitten that I'm nothing special and she should sleep with her, because "it was nice when they were together" Kitten told her she wasn't even going to consider hurting me like that. The girl asked her what was so special about me. Kitten told her plenty, I suppose. She left the bar crying. This is how it works though, isn't it? It seems that way. You make a commitment to your partner and suddenly all your former lovers want you back and every person who ever considered you for a date before comes out of the woodwork.

Its nice to be secure in a relationship. My girl is beautiful and engaging. I'm proud to be with someone so sought after. And even more proud she's happy having chosen me.

Politically, I've been trying to keep up with the news (difficult, since I don't spend as much time on the computer as I had been and we don't have TV anymore) and it seems like things aren't improving as much as everyone would like. I always had a presentiment that President Obama would be a one term president. I think I'll be right about that. It doesn't seem we're doing too well diplomatically, and I'm frankly nervous about North Korea. We'll see how that turns out in the next week or so, I suppose. And Domestically, well, lets say his backing of DOMA was not one of my prouder moments for him. And they've made some changes to smoking laws that are going to rub me the wrong way. Say all you want about it being bad for my health, its my choice, and I'm irritated that the FDA is running the tobacco show. There's rumor that all flavored tobaccos are going to be outlawed and I think that's just silly. They're touting the changes being made as huge savings for the country in healthcare, but Ihave to wonder how putting specialty tobbacco companies out of bbusiness will do anything for our already pathetic economy.

That's about me for now. Everyone else holding up okay?

AG/xx

Bring the beat back

The new job is going well, but you know, its not really as easy as I thought it would be. I mean, the music and the soundboard are easy. Its the making people happy that's difficult. And you know, I'm not good as far as people skills go.

A typical night for me:

8:30 Set up equipment. Turn on televisions. Wrestle with input cord for video.

9:00 turn on music. Make mental note of what's playing. Set out karaoke books on tables.

9:15 Sing first song of the night to a nearly empty bar.

Play random upbeat music, but not the really popular stuff, not just yet. Encourage people to sing. Mention drink specials every twenty minutes or so.

10:30 Play a guessing game with a slightly fuller bar. Warn people that at midnight when they're drunk enough to sing I'll start running out of time.

If bar seriously full, make drunks play with hoola hoops for free shots. Laugh my ass off on the inside.

11:30 Play cupid shuffle. Dance with lots of drunk girls. Steal back fedora you wear every night from a drunk who thinks its cute.

Start playing the really popular music.

Midnight: Sing cheers theme song with a full bar. Start getting lots and lots of karaoke slips.

12:25 Argue with a drunk who wants to sing a song that's already been done. Tell them you won't play Cupid shuffle again just because they got there late.

12:45 take payoff from someone who really wants to sing but didn't get to the bar in time or waited too long and wouldn't get to sing otherwise. Listen to them swear they're awesome. They suck.

12:50 Tell obnoxious drunk you don't care if they know the owner, you still aren't moving them up in order unless they pay you off. You don't care if they're Barrak Obama's best friend. Tell people they can't sing if they don't have a slip in. Remind them the bar closes in ten minutes.

12:51 Tell a random drunk they can't sing. The bar closes in ten minutes.

1:00 Play closing song. Listen to eight people whine that they want to dance. Try not to mention they've been there all night and not danced one time yet.

1:15 break down equipment, save one michrophone. Call over speakers tabs that haven't been paid.

1:30 smoke with boss. Watch as bouncers throw out drunks. Laugh. Listen to bar gossip about customers for the night. Share your particularly annoying patron stories. Enjoy the collective staff eye roll at the idiocy of drunks.

1:45 Have a bouncer walk you to car.


Its not so bad. I just have a seriously low level of empathy. And I get more people making passes at me than I ever have in my life. Its weird. I have some deliciously funny stories for you. I'll have to make a go at those later this week.

Off to work now.

Sing a song for me.

AGxx

Put a Record On

Sorry about the hiatus. I have a good excuse. I promise.

I got a second job. I'm a karaoke DJ in one of the clubs downtown - its called The Speakeasy. Its a lot of fun but thenights do tend to run together. I seem to be decent at it and everyone likes me. I'm the only female DJ they've ever hired so I'm flattered about that. I'm getting the hang of things. I think. Its only week one, though, right?

In other news my boss at Casa Bueno is mad I got a second job so my hours there have been cut. It blows. I need the money otherwise I wouldn't have gotten a second job, right? *Sigh*

Oh. And Kitten's Aunt M is coming to town for a few weeks. She's staying with us. I've been cleaning like a crazy housewife but she just sent me a message saying she's getting in at 3:30 this afternoon and not 9 tonight. I'll never finish the laundry in time.

My mom called me this morning and was delighted (no, really, she sounded it) to tell me my brother Punk has been hanging out with Plush at the bar they like to go to. Apparently Plush has a new girlfriend and she was passing out pills to everyone at the bar. Great. A drug dealer. Just what he needs. Someone tell me its not my fault.

His other, very nice, girlfriend, dumped him after he showed up at my second job on my second night drunk off his ass and her in tow (I think she was designated driving for him) and tried to get me to be physically affectionate with him and tried to convince me I needed to come back to him. No nothing doing, of course, I told him if he needed to talk that my phone is never off and he can get ahold of me when I am not on the clock and trying desperately to learn how to do my new job. He sent me about twenty texts over the next two days wanting to know why this poor girl had gotten pissed and dumped him.

Tell me this isn't my fault either.

Other than that I think all is right in the world.

I lvoe my job. I love my Kitten. Yeah. Life is good.

They stabbed with their steeley knives but they just can't kill the beast

I know its been a while since I've gone psycho political in one of my posts, but I think I'm long overdue. And I think that its a particularly timely post for me as a person.

California. Good job. You sure told us. Congratulations on passing that gay marriage ban.

I can't believe it. I really can't. You know, for being held in regard (in my part of the country, at least) as the most liberal state in the union, as the place for all the pot-smoking, vegetarian, anti-cigarette smoking hippies to gather nothing annoys me more than to see Prop. 8 being upheld. Its silly. I don't understant the reasoning behind it.

Is my love for kitten any less valuable than anyones love for their heterosexual partner? If so, why? Hell, for that matter, is my love for Kitten any less valuable than the love I had for Plush? I don't think so. I think it matters more, not less. I'm happier now than I've been in years and its because I'm in love with someone who understands me, cares for me, and wants to work with me to build a happiness together. Is my life better for being with a woman instead of a man? Yeah, I think it is.

I know at one point or another in my blog I've written and said its really about the personality. I could love a man just as easily as I could love a woman. That the person and not the sex is what mattered. I want to state for the record, I was wrong about that. I tried with Plush, I really did. But you know what? It didn't work. Personality differences aside, and that certainly was the crux of our relationship problem (we weren't well matched) I want to get into bed every night next to someone and it feel right. I want it to feel natural and comfortable. And after all the time I was with him that one thing never changed. I never felt right in bed. I never felt right during sex. I never felt right looking at him undressed. It horrified me. And that's not his fault. Its not anyones fault. I just don't like men. And I think it took me a serious attempt at trying to be with one that proved to me once and for all, I'm a woman loving, hard core, can't stop thinking about her lesbian. I am. and I think there is nothing wrong with that.

That said, what I have with my Kitten now, what many of gays and lesbians and transexuals have with their partners now feels natural and healthy to them. It makes them happy. And I think that every person deserves their chance at happiness. And at love. We live in a world that is too devoid of that emotion. We live in a cruel world that doesn't feel enough, care enough, empathize enough. I think that in this world that we live in the idea that two people, regardless of who or what they are, being told that their love is wrong or unnatural or evil is plain silliness. And its thoughtless. Who'd right is it to tell anyone they aren't allowed to be happy? I don't believe that happiness is a human right. I don't. Yell at me if you will. Because of our natures as humans I don't think anyone has the right to sit back and say "Okay, make me happy. Its my right." No. Not at all. But I think you have the right to make your own happiness if you want it. And no one should stop anyone from that, so long as it harms no one else.

So here's the essential point: How is it hurting anyone? Really. Answer me these questions (and I know that I'm probably preaching to the choir here, but for arguments sake)

Does me having the right to marry damage any heterosexuals relationship? How does it hurt it? If you operate on the conservative idea that gay marriage damages heterosexual marriage somehow I want to know why. Does a strong, healthy heterosexual marraige suddenly go on the rocks because a gay couple moves in next door and marries? How strong and healthy was it really? How valuable was it if my ability to love another person somehow makes your love less valuable? And how valuable is any marriage if its allowed to be annulled or a divorce granted? So many strait couples marry and divorce without ever thinking of the priveledge they've taken for granted.

How does it harm a child to see two people of the same sex love eachother? Is it any more damaging than seeing a healthy functioning strait couple? I don't think it is. I go back to the point prior. There isn't enough love in this world. I think everyone, regardless of age should be exposed to as much love as possible. As for public displays of affection? I think kissing and hand holding in public is great. Anything more than that? I think strait and gay couples should keep it in the bedroom. There's a difference in my mind between honest, genuine affection and filth in public and everyone, regardless of orientation should be aware of that line and not cross it.

What about the couples that were already married? Their marriages are still valid. Why? What makes them better than me, now? Because they were faster? They got to the courthouse sooner? I don't understand. Why not annul their marriages too? I honestly think the truth is because the state got away with this by saying it was a legal ammendment to a state constitution without addressing the idea at all that maybe the ammendment itself violated some precedent of human right and dignity.

I want to know how my love makes me a second class citizen. I want to know why it is more important that I'm kept in my place than be allowed the simple pleasure of sharing my life with someone I love, and sharing my name with them as well. I want to be able to own a home with my partner and own property with my partner and never have to worry that she or I won't be able to take care of the other should one of us fall ill. I want to be able to visit her in the hospital and take her to the doctor and not have to sit in the waiting room wondering because I'm not her sister or her husband.

I know a lot of people will argue that if I love Kitten it shouldn't matter whether I'm married to her or not. I know that the argument will come up that if we want to share our lives together we either will or we won't. But I feel like I should be allowed the tradition of publicly expressing my love for her. I want to wear my wedding dress and walk down an aisle and meet her there and show everyone I know that I love her. And I don't want it to be a "ceremony" or a "vow exchange" I want it to be a wedding. I don't want to have to elope to a backwater hippie town that will preform the ceremony in a garden off a hotel for me in later hours. I don't want to have to drive to massachusetts or iowa (by the way, go iowa!) to get married and when I get married I want to be able to go to any state I wish to live in and have it recongnize me as Mrs. Kitten or Kitten as Mrs. Giovanni and not have to start splitting up insurance payments and IRAs and all that crap all over again just because we're both women. Its not okay.

And spare me, please, spare me th religious arguments. I don't want to hear them. Not because I don't respect any religion or its ideals or anyone's right to practice and believe what they want to. I think that's great. And its a huge (if slightly stretched, overstated and rarely honestly practiced) tenet of the country I live in. Everyone is entitled to believe whatever they want. Whatever they want. If they want to. But see, I don't agree with your religion. I don't agree that a loving god could intentionally create a human destined to go to hell with no choice in the matter. Do you want to worship that god? The one that made me a lesbian and then left me the choice to either be strait and miserable all my life or be gay and go strait to hell for being happy the way that god made me? I don't. And I don't think a god like that exists. And if you do, more power to you.

But there's a reason we are supposed to separate the church and the state. Your religion and mores should no more have a hand in the law than mine. And mine says I'm doing nothing wrong. According to my beliefs, everyone should marry whomever they like. But the christian right in my country doesn't agree with me. Alright. I respect your right to an opinion even if I don't agree with it. Lets agree to disagree and then I'll tell you what. Let's make policy based on social justice, freedom and equality. Lets make law based on what's best for everyone.

And here's the thing, California. It would be great for everyone. You need the money. You do. And if you had any sense at all you'd let me and Kitten and the millions of gays around the US come to your state and spend money in hotels and get married. I'll stay for a week or two and drop a five or six grand on a honeymoon in Disneyland or LA after dropping a minimum of $60 at the courthouse (but you know, I'd really like a fashionable wedding, so I want a botanical garden and a string quartet and all my family flying in to see me happily wed) You go ahead and raise your tourism taxes and make money off me. Take my money at the courthouse. Take the money I'll pay to change my name and my social security card and my driver's liscence and my passport to say Mrs. Kitten. Condemn me behind closed doors and use my money to fund new hghways or christian charities backed by the state. Issue all those tax returns you couldn't pay this year and keep your mouth shut. How's that for old fashioned american capitalism? Take my money and do what you will, but know this, there's big money in gay weddings.

I want someone, anyone, to tell me a non-religious, fact based, logical reason that my love is wrong. I want them to tell me to my face, with dignity, that I am a second class citizen and I don't have the same rights I had four months ago. Four months ago I was with a man. I could marry as I pleased, so long as it was a male and when I went out I didn't have to think about people marginalizing me because of whose hand I was holding. I had the right to share an insurance policy and a hospital room with my partner. Now I can't. Because the that I share my love with shares my anatomy as well. Tell me I don't deserve those rights to my face and tell me how my love is personally effecting you, and your strait marraige and your religion. Because I really don't believe it is.

I want to state this for posterity. And I want to be clear.

I am a lesbain. I am proud to be a lesbain. I am proud of my community. I am proud of my partner. I am proud to hold her hand in public and I am proud to share my life with her. Years from now I will still be gay. I will still be proud. There is nothing that any legislation can do to stop me from sharing my love with whomever I choose.

Years from now I'll say I was part of the new civil rights battle and I'll be proud about that too.

Today, though, I'm not proud of California.

Love to you all.
AG/xx

Bibbity Bobbity Boo (A boring vacation post)

I'm really beginning to think I'll bore all of you with all my pictures and rantings of being so happy. But, you know, its better than the emo stuff I've been up to the last few years. no more woe is me. Or I'm keeping it to a minimum.

The short version of the last week is I worked, I went out with my friends, I took a road trip yesterday. Like Kitten and I have the last few times we've had a day off together. We went to St. Louis yesterday. Specifically to see the zoo. I'm a big zoo fan. I'll admit it. And she'd never been to theirs so we had a super nice time.

After we went to a park that surrounds the zoo and has lakes and museums and trails and in general lots of grass to roll around in and enjoy. I did. Very much. Took off my shoes and everything.

I've been sitting at the computer all morning working on plans for the trip we're taking in November to Disney World in Florida. I honestly don't think we're going to get to do everything we want to in the time we have alotted. Which is sad. It never occured to me that 8 days in Disney World would not be enough. But its not. For one thing, we get to eat free in all the restaurants. We don't have enough time in the day for all the places I/we want to eat at. So I'm narrowing it down.

We also get a massive amount of free tours with our package, and I'm trying to work out which ones I can take on what day. I kow for sure I want to do Dolphins in Deapth (its playing with the little critters, how fun) and the other Aqua Tour, where you get to scuba in Epcots gigantic aquarium, "The Seas". There's a 7 hour tour of all the parks that gets us a peek into the Utilidors (the underground workings of the theme parks - the stuff of Disney junkie Urban Legends) There's also a tour for The Animal Kingdom that puts you in with the animal hospital and feeding areas and stuff. We have tickets to go see Cirque Du Soleil La Nouba. I'm excited about that. There's also three dinner shows I want to go to.

Have I bored you yet?

On top of that we get all the recreation and instructions free. Parasailing, Skiing, Wakeboarding, Canoeing, Horseback riding, cairrage rides at sunset. Free golf. Free tennis. I can rent sailboats and paddlebaots and monatauk whalers. The whole nine yards. Plush guiding bass fishing excursions and bike riding and....you get the idea.

We also have reserved seating for the fireworks shows, a evening fireworks cruise, spa treatments for free, all sorts of stuff.

And that's on top of all four parks in the magic kingdom, plus the waterparks and the nightclubs.

I'm almost afraid we'll be more tired when we come home than when we leave. But it'll be worth it.

We decided to drive down, too. Airline tickets are so stupid expensive and we like to drive together. It'll be fun.

She wears sensible shoes

Hmmm. This has been a good week. Kitten was sick earlier in the week and Igot a chance to play nursemaid, which I'm alright with. I liked taking care of her. And she's feeling a lot better, which is good. There's been some sort of chest conjestion sore throat stuff going around. Thank heavens i didn't catch it.

We took our Kitten Delyla to the vet this week to get fixed. She's a lot sweeter right now. I'm not sure if its a change in her personality or if she's just tired from all the painmeds. Her and Samson (our other cat) have been super cuddly. Now that they're both fixed they are allowed back in the bedroom so I've been waking up to kitty sleeping on my feet and on our pillows. Lyla likes our feet but Samson seems to think he needs to sleep on our pillows with us. We have a special pillow just for him now. Its cute.

We had more tornadoes this week too. Wesnesday night. We had a few last week (I think I mentioned them) but this time we actually had it close enough to us we drug all the cats and pillows and blankets into the bathroom and hid out with the radio. (We don't have a basement) It was a little scary. Kitten is really afraid of tornadoes so I found myself in the relatively new position of being the brave one. I liked it, as far as you can like comforting your partner while you lay in the floor and hope that a massive storm doesn't come and destroy your house, or worse. We got off easy. No damage, thank heavens. There were two separate touchdowns inside our city though, which is unusual. We live on a plateau so normally the storms go around us and hit the surrounding cities in the lower areas. I'm not so much afriad of them as I am annoyed that they wake me up and risk damage to the house. My mom's second husband (2.0) was a tornado spotter so I outgrew my terror of them when I was younger. I'm not sure its a great thing to not be afraid, but it does help me keep a level head when the fur starts to fly, as it were.

My schedule changed this week and I totally forgot about it so I missed my shift at work on Wednesday. I felt terrible about it but it ended up landing me with two days off in a row, something I haven't done since last summer when rogue and I went on our vacation thingy. It ws nice. Kitten and I went on an actual date and I had a chance to spend a little quality time with her. She's finished up with school for the semester so we'll get to see eachother more. (Hence the reason I changed my schedule. I wanted to sync our days off)

Yesterday we woke up early and went on a mini road trip to Eureka Springs Arkansas. Its only a few hours away from us and its a cute little town. Kitten had never been before so I was happy to show her a place that I love so much. We walked around town and looked at the springs and did a little (completely unneccessary) shopping. By the time we made it back to the car I had a new skirt and swimsuit. Kitten had a new t shirt and pair of shorts and we bought Blackberry Jam, an Awesome spicy buttrubb for grilling and a raspberry chipolte sauce I think will go great on pork chops, if I don't eat it on wheat thins first. We also bought about a pound of hand pulled salt water taffy, and a bunch of chocolate coated fruit, which we feasted on right out side the confectioner's shop.

We had dinner at my favorite restaurant in town, Local Flavor, and watched people pass by. (You can eat outside on a balcony, its so cool, because its next to a trolly station) Once we stuffed ourselves stupid we drove back home and continued our marathon of the L Word. We're rewatching it starting with the first season of the L word.

I was really pleased. We spent over four hours in the car together and we didn't have to turn on the radio once. I was able to tell her all about the funny things I remember from all the little towns on the way. We stopped at a gas station about a quarter of the way in and I found tootsie drops, which i haven't seen in ages and I love them.

The companionship is nice.

More pics for you to look at.

Me and my beloved tootsie drops. Found them in a gas station in a little town about halfway there.

Me at one of the springs in town, I don't remember the name. But they turned it into a beautiful fountain.

Kitten munching on a chocoalte covered strawberry

Me smoking outside the sweet spring.

Kitten at the sweet spring.

Sure I'm sober, sure I'm sane

Ah. Mother's Day. Busiest day of the year for Casa Bueno. And I get to work all day. I'm just all sorts of excited.

Actually, I'm not. After Tuesday I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for the madness that is going to be my shift today. So I'm sitting here, chain smoking and drinking a cup of earl grey and trying to gear up for this afternoon. Definately procrastinating on putting on my work clothes and being a productive citizen.

I dropped Kitten off at her job this morning and I don't think she was terribly excited to be there either. She is a cook at Super Waffle, and local breakfast restaurant. Breakfast places on mother's day are never fun. She was sweet and picked up doughnuts for her crew. I'm thinking I might do the same for mine. Nothing like sugar to bribe a crew into a happy mood for a long day. The coffee we all drank onTuesday rather kept us going (we brought in our favorite bews and got all jumped up on caffiene) so maybe sugar will work just as well.

I already called my mother this morning to tell her happy mothers day and she was already awake. Apparently Punk woke her up at six am wanting something. Seriously, she probably should get around to throwing him out sometime before he hits 30. But what do I know?

Speaking of mothers, I know Beloved announced on her facebook this week her and her partner Reba are trying to get pregnant. More power to her. I'm afraid I'd make a terrible mother. Best not to ruin any more lives than I already have, eh?

In other news, we had a huge storm Friday. I woke up to the sound of tornado sirens going off. At 8 am that's not hugely comforting. For some reason we normally get severe weather in the evening, so first thing just sets the day up for ten shades of no fun. On top of that I was a little hng over from the night before. Thursday tends to be our big going out night. We went to Brick Wall Bar and then migrated to The Vinyard (huge local gay club) with some of our friends. It was sweet though, Kitten called from work to check on me and make sure I was safe. I felt safer knowing she was worried for me.

I got my income tax check in yesterday. More money to put away for the vacation! Yay!

How are you lot doing? Its been quiet lately.
AG/xx

Sunshine Day

Yesterday was my day off. It was glorious. I went to the zoo with Kitten. She hadn't been for about ten years so everything was new to her. I love zoos in general so I had a seriously good time. It felt nice to be outside and enjoying the sunshine. I was a little disappointed, the elephants were already inside for the day because we went late in the afternoon. And the giraffe feeding deck was closed. (If you've never fed a giraffe and get the chance, do. Its so much fun) But the animals were really active because the weather was mild and we got to listen to the mountain lion scream for a while. That was cool. The otter had babies again so we'll get to see them sometime this summer. Otter babies are so cool.

Speaking of babies, I don't know if I mentioned Spike before. We have a groundhog that lives in our back yard. We always laughed at it because its about the size of a terrier. I named it Spike. Well, I was looking out the window of our laundry room and saw a groundhog that was too little to be spike. Then I saw three more. Then I saw Spike. Apparently, she's a momma groundhog. They's adorable. Kitten says I shouldn't feed them (I won't though I want to) and she's probably going to call the conservation department to relocate them to a safer habitat. I'll be sad to see them go. In the meantime I'm hiding with my camera every chance I get so I can snap some pictures of them.

Cinco de Mayo passed with relatively small incident at my work. I was exhausted by the time I got off. Eleven hours of drunk crazies, margaritas, radio road shows and panicked coworkers was enough for me. Now only mother's day to tackle and life should be really good. And easier.

Went on Monday to the travel agent to pay another thousand down on the trip in November. I'm really excited. Kitten and I are going to have so much fun! She's been more recently than me so we'll both get a chance to show eachother new things while we're there. So happy.

Me and Kitten together.

Kitten feeding the goats in the "contact area" (so much for petting zoos.)

Me with the tiger statue outside their exhibit

Kitten outside the reptile house, losing a fight with the gator statue.

I thought this was just too cute for words. Its my favorite statue in the whole zoo.

Yeah, I play onthe playground equipment, what can I say? I'm a huge kiddo.

That's why I feel so beautiful

I won the contest. Wow. I am so excited. And Ican't believe how many people came to hear me sing. A lot of them were Kitten's friends and that made me feel really good. Of course herEx had to show up because she was riding with one of the other girls that came. I'm proud to say that this time I was mature about everything. I didn't drink myself stupid and I focused and had a nice time. And I won. I feel really really good about myself.

As a side bonus my mom was there and she told me the morning after how very much she likes Kitten. Says she's not only supportive and good and sweet but also "the most attractive girl you've ever dated" Squee. Its nice to have her on my side.

This weekend we went out to Precious's house for a bonfire. She lives in the country and it was really really nice. We sat and listened to music and joked around and I got toplay with the dogs. It was nice. I haven't been in a position where I could go out and run around in the mud and get sloppy and wet and smell like an animal and not have my partner care. I think Kitten was amused. Hell, I was.

This week is supposed to be the hardest week of the year for us. Cinco De Mayo is a huge day for our restaurant and mother's day is following close behind. I'll be tired come next monday. I'm happy though, I like the money and I have a lot of hours this week.

I put in the 30 days notice on the apartment Plush and I used to share. To be honest, I'm looking forward to having a bit of a break from him. It's wearing me down emotionally, and honestly, being around him is the only time I ever feel really bad about ymself anymore. I'm really happy the rest of the time. He's been a bit of a jerk lately, so I'm having even more trouble being sympathetic. He wants to talk to me about how he feels, and I listen, but I don't know I'm the person he should be confiding to about our breakup. I know he has other friends. He says they just badmouth me, and he wants constructive advice. I think he needs a therapist. Not me. I mean, when do I stop being a supportive friend and start being an ex-fiancee? I don't know.

That said, life is going pretty well for me. I've got some glorious pictures of Friday night, I'll be posting those soon.

AG/xx

Soul is in the musical

Hi all. Wow.

So Monday night I got this text from my favorite local karaoke DJ and this weekend (friday) is the big karaoke contest that I am entered into. I didn't realize it was coming up so soon. I'm more than a little nervous. The goal was to try and do something no one had seen me do before so I could suprise everyone. Well, its going to be a suprise. I'm doing a song even I have never seen me do. I don't even know if he has the song. I have to call on that. I'm singing Vogue by madonna. Well, singing and I've got the music video memorized now, so I know all the dance moves and all the crazy. Its going to be something else. I've been practicing every moment I have. I hope I'm great. The prize is $1000 and I could (always) use the money. I've got a decent sized crowd to some see me sing, I'm working on getting an indecent sized crowd to come see me sing. The louder they are the better I do.

In other news, the float trip in July is looking more and more fun. We've been coordinating and it turns out my Kitten is making breakfast every morning. I'm looking forward to that. She's one hell of a cook. Especially breakfast food.

I got a flat tire on Sunday and Kitten had to replace it for me. I love her for how terribly handy and knowledgable she is. I'd have been sweating bullets trying to change a tire on my massive truck. I'm really very lucky to have someone who takes such good care of me. Really. I'm spoiled.

So Rugby Girl is moving to Arizona and isn't likely to come back anytime soon. She leaves this Friday morning. I'm trying to decide how I feel about it. She's one of those people that I like, but I'm not sure if I'll miss, if that makes sense. She seems, well, she seems like she'd cause drama if she stuck around. But that is one very colorful character I won't be seeing anymore. And I like color.

Its my day off, and we're having friends over this evening. Its a little book club type thing. We've been reading Twighlight by Stephanie Meyer. Well, I re-read it. Again. I really like that series. Think what you will about the movie (I know a lot of people thought it was terrible, or a let down, or both) but the books are fun. And they're brain candy, which I can stand. I need a break from serious stuff. Big time. I'm interested to see how it goes, I haven't done a book club thing before so I don't know if you just sit around a gush about how you liked the book or what. This is brain candy, so its not going to inspire any serious discourse, that's for sure. I think we should try a classic after we're done with this series. Like Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) or Wives and Daughters (Elizabeth Gaskell) or something. But sometimes that stuff goes over like a lead balloon.

I'm off to keep voguing. Love you all.

AG/xx

i love to laugh

Right. So after my sill ypost below that is a total downer i thought I'd share some of my favorite new things with you.

icanhascheezburger.com is without a doubt one of the silliest giggliest things I've seen in a while. My cousin Lovey put me on to it. Oh! Side note. Lovey came into town from her new state and spent saturday evening with me and Kitten and they get along really really well. Bonus awesomeness for me.

some of thie silliness you'll find there....

Also if you go to albinoblacksheep.com there's this thing called the llama song that made me laugh so hard I almost threw up.

Check em out.

AG/xx

how could you be so Dr. Evil?

Hi all. Wow. Last week was a long one.

While I am on the topic of weeks, this week is MS Week. If there is a charity event in your neighborhood try and get out and get involved. If not take time tolearn a=more about MS this week. I suggest stopping by Swiss Toni's Place to check out all the information he has. Great guy, Swiss.

So work was a little busier than we had been this weekend, I'm glad for it it makes me think maybe, just maybe I won't have to sell my sould or be indebted to Kitten for quite the rest of my life. It was lookng shaky. I worked with a huge hangover on Friday night becuase I spent too much time drinking at the Brick Wall Bar on Thursday. More about that later. Suffice to say it wasn't my best night at work, although I managed not to spend the whole of the evening getting sick.

Sometime near St. Patricks day Kitten and I went to a little dive bar. I think I posted pictures of Kitten and I at this bar somewhere in the last tenposts or so. Anyway, we ran into a girl I had known when I knew Kitten the first time around, call her Queen Bee. So i went on one terrible date with her way back when, apparently Kitten and her remained friends over the years. We ran into her there. She's been soming around the last week or so and its been kind of nice. She's sweet, and I think kind of lonely. and it turns out she is nothinglike I remember her being, which is cool, because I had always thought she was kind of bad ass and scary and it turns out she's actually pretty soft and. well, girly. She went with us to the local 18 and up dance club on Tuesday and we had a pretty nice time. It wasn't bad. She ahd a friend with her that made her evening difficult. We made her promise to come out with us one Thursday to Brick Wall Bar because I was singing in a karaoke contest. She comsented.

I spent most of wednesday being useless. That's sort of what I do when I have a day off. I really, really need to get to cleaning my stuff out of my apartment. I was going to do some of that today, but I have a flat tire on my truck and kitten has to help me fix it. I'm so lucky to have her around.

Thursday. So we went out and Queen Bee was supposed to meet me and Kitten and Guitar Hero and Brick Wall and have a few beers whiel I did the contest thing. We get there and order a bucket of beer (five bottles in a tin pail not literally a bucket full of draft beer) and QB shows up but she has someone with her. I know its not good, even before I look up because Kitten mutters a less than ladylike expletive when she looked up. Its a girl I'll call Mal Carne. Old, um, *almost* paramour of Kitten's and a girl who in days gone by really really didn't like me. At all. Hatred might have been a passive term. She's with QB and there isn't much we can say, we invited Queen, can't really say she can't sit with us. I smile and snuggle down next to Kitten and start hitting the beers (and the shots) pretty hard. As the evening passes I discover MAl recognizes me but doesn't know from where. I get drunk enough to refresh her memory and she smiles and tells me she doesn't have a problem with me now. Good thing. But, too late, I had a huge hangover on Friday from my less than intelligent "drink to cope" strategy. I need to work on that.

(side note, I can hear the whistle of a train nearby, Kitten and my house is near an industrial district, and I love it. Its so comforting to me. I grew up near an airport and i love the sound. Trains are even better for me. They sound so pretty. Anyway)

Sunday was really my big day though. Kitten and I are going floating in July with some of her friends. Most of them are co-workers of hers. I like most of them very much. Wednesday I actually went with one of them, Earth Girl, when she got a tattoo. I like her very much. Anyway, the person who throws this trip every year, Princess, is best friends with Kitten's Ex. (I'm not even going to try and give her a name yet, it won't be a kind one and I want to be fair.) So we have our usual sunday after work grab a beer and hang out thing but its to discuss the float trip. This means the EX will be there. I haven't seen her since Kitten and I got back together.

I knew that my sweet girl told her about me because her reactions both enfuriated me. One, she asked Kitten if I knew she had loyalty issues. (which, yes, I did, and no, I'm not worried) and Two when she figured out who I was asked kitten "wasn't that the crazy girl we all thought was a whore? To which kitten replied "No EX, that was just you" Anywsay. I don't like that she talks to kitten like that and I really don't like that she made judgements about me ten years ago when she didn't know me and is stubbornly clinging to those judgements now.

Anyway. We get to Not My Mexican Restaurant where we sit on the patio and drink and smoke and eat on sundays and we're the last to get there. There's aboutten people there already, the table is pretty well full. I go give Earth Girl a hug because Kitten said she had a bad day and I paused to kiss Precious on the head and poke her boyfriend Aw Shucks. Precious is Kitten's best friend, and sister to the EX. I like Precious. She's awesome. Ex gives me dirty looks and I nervously hide behind Kitten's chair on the end of the table opposite them. I order a beer and then remember that I was sick on Friday from doing that and order a coke too.

Anyway, long story short, Ex and Princess make snarky comments just out of earshot at me all afternoon. I know they're about me and snarky because they keep looking at me and laughing. Presious is giving them looks and Kitten is determinedly ignoring the both of them, with the exception of when I make a snotty comment in her ear on the rare occasion i can hear them. I'm a hop, skip and a jump away from saying something louder, but I don't. When the afternoon is over Presious say it wasn't so bad, and she h ugs me and I feel better almost immediately. The cool person in her family likes me, and that's all that matters. As Ex and Princess are leaving Kitten and Ex swap car keys back. Kitten also gets back her house key. She turns and gives me the spare key to her truck that she had just gotten back from the Ex. I don't know if that was for my benefit or hers, but I appreciated it. A lot.

She seemed quiet on the way home and i tried to get her to talk to me, but I assume if its important she'll tell me. Most people have an internal monologue, unlike me. So I have to be patient. We spent the evening reading and it was really nice.

That was my week. Not great, not terrible.

I get to go clean my house now. I love it.

Go check out that MS Stuff. Seriously.

AG/xx

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel

Well, an interesting day for me. I step away from the computer for a few days and all hell breaks loose in the world. Well, not really, but some interesting stuff has been going on. And by interesting I mean sometimes sad and soemtimes happy news.

Monday the Pulitzer Prizes got handed out. Yay. I've got some new stuff to read now. Although, has anyone found that the fiction writers who win pulitzers are just *thick* I mean, I love a good heavy tome, but... I'm contenting myself with the dream of getting published in The New Yorker. I can do that. Incidentally Rachel Maddow linked to all the winners in her Twitter on Monday, soyou can see the full list, if you already haven't, there.

The acting CFO for Freddie Mac was found dead in his home, an apparent suicide. Sad. Sad that its coming to this. I try not to speak too much of the financial mess that is my country right now, my grasp of economics isn't as great as it could be and I have enough friends who have degrees in economics that I get trounced whenever I try to have an opinion, but I will say this. The realestate thing? It was and is a nightmare. My fellow countrymen got greedy, and its hurting us all now. I mean, look at this poor man and his family now. The news article I read said they couldn't confirm a note or that it had anything to do with police investigations into the company or anything like that, but... do you really figure it might be another cause? Money seems to me the greatest evil in the world right now.

Speaking of money, Japan had a budget deficit for the fiscal year 2008. First one since 1980. Just sayin. Creeps me out.

For the record, how I feel about other things:

Gay marriage: still a right, still should be legal

Obama: still awesome. not regretting that vote at all

Abortion: Still my body

GJW Bush: Still shaking my head.

Marijuana: not as evil as I once found it. Don't like it in my brother's hands, I can understand it in others

Other Drugs: NEVER OKAY

Harry Potter: still awesome

Twighlight Series by Stephanie Meyer: New addiction

War: I'm sick to death of hearing about it. Nothing wears on activism like a lost cause.

Pirates: Johnny depp cool, others not so much. But did we have to shoot them? I didn't get the full story on this one, and maybe it was necessary, but...I don't like killing if it can be avoided

Current political heros: Rachel Maddow (of course) and Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill. She's a righteous chick. Seriously. Honestly most of the female liberal senators have been rocking my world lately. Lets hear it for the girls.

New favorite band: Muse

New Favorite Artist: Brandi Carlile. Wow. She's got a great voice.

Earworm that makes me really hurt: If You Seek Amy, Brittany Spears. I think I hear it at least 20 times a day. And it is catchy, too.

Politics: still liberal

Religion: still a witch. Now also seeing a mystic. Life is good, karma is good

Yeah. That's about right for me. Anywho, i'm working up a big list of loves, likes and go to hell's.

Hope you all are finding more to cheer you up than I am today.

AG/xx

The Coffee Is Just Water Dressed In Brown

Hi again. I want a happy post. Something to make all of us laugh, or at least say right on. I've been debating posting this, but I think I will. I will say this, I want to write a book with this in it, so if you post me around, or whatever please give me credit. (this is more to a stanger who might stumble here than anything. I know none of my lovelies would pritate my dry wit)

So at Casa Bueno we have a running list of things that make us absolutely crazy. Someone suggested it would make a great book and I got the ball rolling. We've been writing these down for about a year or so now, and I love them. I think every waitress can relate.

WE call it

The Server Manifesto

1. We love children! The restaurant doubles as a daycare at no extra charge.

2. Servers are independently wealthy, so tipping is optional.

3. The best tips we receive are religious pamphlets! In currency exchange it is enough to pay the rent.

4. Server, waiter or waitress is modern day slang for slave.

5. Servers do not speak any languages. We only respond to shaking of glasses, snapping of fingers and/or whistling

6. Servers choose to work in the industry for the exercise. So, please, as for one thing at a time. My feet will thank you for it later.

7. When your server is speaking to a table other than yours, please try to carry on a conversation with us. We love to be interrupted.

8. Don't worry, your order will be out in one minute. We have a magic microwave in that at a push of a button makes your food appear.

9. "Dr. Pepper" is always an appropriate response to "Hi, how are you?"

10. Ask my advice. Don't take it. Ask my advice again. Really, don't take it. I just work here, I don't know what I am talking abot.

11. Move a chair into the isle. We have dedicatd ourselves to improving our agility. And blocking fire exits teaches us to think critically.

12. Your children are precocious. We adore it when they order us around. Its very adult. The bossier they get the smarter we assume they are.

13. "Please" and "Thank you" are antiquated perfunctory courtesies. Please feel free to disregard them. Thank you.

14. Special orders keep our jobs interesting. We understand if you have food allergies, but we love it when you're just plain picky. So go ahead, customize tha order to your tastes.

15. If you have a group of more than ten, please don't call ahead. We like suprises.

16. We have all gone through extensive training to be maids so we don't mind cleaning up after you.

17. When you go out to eat, please don't worry. You will be the only table your waitess has.

18. Waitresses have no feelings. As automatonic drudges we are perfect for humiliation, degredation and general verbal abuse.

19. Late inthe evening or afternoon feel free to stay as long as you like. Servers have no lives and waiting to clean your table is the highlight of our social existence.

20. If a restaurant closes at ten it is perfectly acceptable to come in at 9:55 and stay for a few hours.

21. We love vomit. Servers are immune to disease and don't mind of you bring in your children and they puke all over teh table. We like to clean it up. The smell is awesome.

22. Refills on soda are complimentary. It is completely acceptable to drink three two-litres worth of soda in one thirty minute meal. Go ahead and double fist those puppies!

23. Every bar serves bottomless alcoholic beverages. Please ask me for a free refill on your margarita. I'll grab it for you, and I'll go ahead and call liquor patrol for you too.

24. The kids menu probably says 12 and under. I know yo're 40 but i'lllet you order from it anyway. Cheap customers are the nest customers.

25. Congratulations on your gastric bypass surgury. That $25k tookyou from a fat nobody who was marginalized to a skinny winner who can take back all that lost dignity. Be rude to me. I don't mind. I'm proud of you. Your good looks were hard won, after all.

26. Your server doubles as your cook. Blame them for long cook times and food errors. Don't tip them either. Its all their fault.

27. Ask for something extra. Do you have one roll and six butters? Ask for more butter. You need it, don't you?


******

I will say that not all customers are like this, not even most of them. But the ones that come in and do things like this? Its the stuff that ruins our day. I hope anyone out there in food service enjoyed that. It was cathartic for my coworkers and I....


Love you all
AG/xx

You were never very kind

Went to dinner last night with Kitten's mom. It was nice, I don't think I bombed, and I'm pretty sure she likes me. That makes me very happy. The particulars aren't as important, really. And I'm afraid I'm boring you with the minutia of mine and Kitten's relationship. I will say this, her mom is seriously smart. I love that.

*begin rant about Plush, skip if you want*

I'm annoyed this morning. And having a bit of a conundrum. Plush texted me at two this morning (I was actually asleep) and he said he needed to talk to me about something. I sent him a text that told him if it wasn't dire it had to wait until morning. It waited. So this morning He says that he went out with his new roommates, among others, for his best friend's birthday last night. One of them, the female, (lets call her Jaygirl) tells him that the night he and I went to My Place (local karaoke bar) with her and her boyfriend (Jayguy) and Kitten and Rugby Girl that I "Held hands with Rugby Girl under the table" after Plush left earlybecause he had to work at 5am. I'm annoyed. A Lot.

First, Jaygirl walked up to me about ten seconds after Plush left and kissed me on the mouth (apparently gay girls are community property in his group of friends, this happens a lot to me. His guy buddies think its funny when their girlfriends kiss me) That act right there was the worst "thing"I did all night. Second, I help Rugby Girl's hand above the table, in plain sight, all night. She likes to invade people's personal space. Its her way. She held Plush's hand. Hell, she was kissing on Kitten all night. Its way easier to hold her hand than to fight off other more invasive petting. Third, about a month before Plush went out with them and made out with a bar waitess all night while I was home sick. I don't care, he told me about it, but there was no one calling me and telling me about his bad behavior.

I know I'm the bad guy because I did the leaving. But I also think I'm being delt a really harsh hand. *He* ignored me and made me unhappy. *He* was the one that was possive and controlling. *He* was the one who refused to take on an adult's portion of our relationship. I was paying the bills, cleaning the house, doing all of the sundries and babying him to boot. And I'm the only one who had a vehicle because he totalled his while he was drunk one night. He wanted a mother. Oh! And *he* was the one who shoved me over our coffee table because he was angry I wouldn't skip rugby practice to watch television with him and forced me out of the house. I didn't come back. Suprise. That's the only rule we had in our relationship. The only one! Don't lay your hands on me when you're angry. Been there, done that, have the scar, don't want another. You know what he told me when he called me later in the evening? "Its not like I hit you, and I didn't mean to shove you that hard" My Ass! I'm sorry, I have a lot of pent up rage about our relationship. Especially the end of it. I'm not an angel, I know I'm not. But I get so angry when I think about it. Yeah, I went out a lot. Yeah most of my girlfriends and guy friends are gay. Guess what? SO AM I! He knew that going in. He knew I wasn't a homebody. He knew I like to go out. He knew I was independent. You know how he answers these charges? "I thought you'd settle down and want to be a housewife eventually" *sigh*

On top of that Plush made it really clear this morning that as soon as he moves out of our (well, his now) apartment and finds a reliable means of transportation that he doesn't want to see me for a while. He needs "a break" Good for him. But seriously, I'm wondering why his new roomies can't drive him around or why he has to be crass enough to tell me he's using me for my truck right now.

I told him I would get the remainder of my things from the apartment and disappear so he didn't have to "deal" with me anymore.

I'm not sure what to do. I've bent over backwards. I'm still paying for the apartment and the untilities. I'm still driving him around. I still pick up the house when I drop by to get more of my stuff. How am I not being fair? I don't know. What I really want to do is go over when he's working, get all my stuff, leave half the last month's rent on the counter in the kitchen with a note that says "I'm out" and never see him again. Really. But that isn't the mature thing to do. Is it?

*End rant*

On the up side I have a date at the brick wall bar you guys keep seeing in my pictures with a bunch of my friends tonight. We're going to karaoke. I can sing, so its not terrible. Some of my friends thinkthey can when they drink, which is even beter. And some of my other friends that are comng are meeting Kitten for the first time. So it should be smiles all around.

My favorite songs to karaoke are (in no particular order)

I'm the only one, Melissa Etheridge
Alone, Heart
Take it back, Reba McEntire
Black Velvet, Allanah Mihles
Proud Mary, Ike and Tina Turner
All that Jazz, from Chicago
Brick, Ben Folds Five
My Imortal, Evanescence

Every now and again i;ll bust out some Whitney Houton (yes, I can) or some Celine Dion, if I feel ike showing off. I'm trying to find some new stuff though. Heart is my newest edition to the list of regular songs. I like it a lot.

Have a good day kids.
AG/xx

How bad could it be?

Wow. Big space at the top because I can't format. A Few Updates. I am doing my mother's taxes tonight too. Yay. I've gone from "I can't do math" to "Hi I'm an H&R Block in the course of an afternoon. Good for me.

Plush got a place to stay so we can move all the big stuff out soon. Even better. I have been hauling stuff over to Kitten's one truck load at a time. Its getting old. His mom is out of the mental ward and in therapy. That's a good thing too. He seems to be doing a lot better.

I forgot to mention that I went to visit Beloved and her new partner Reba last night. Its the first time Ive talked to Reba since Beloved and I broke up nearly three years ago. She hadn't wanted to talk to me because she felt uncomfortable with the situation. Never made sense to me since I didn't mind and I was technically the wronged party....but. They gave us a bookshelf which is awesome becuase mine is stacked three deep and Kitten has as many books as I do. We needed the shelf space. I'm going to give her my big TV because we don't really watch TV and Kitten already has a nice one. Who needs two? I think we are all going to get together and have drinks sometime in the next couple of weeks. That ought to be nice.

I also uploaded a few more pics for you to look at. I like posting them. Its nice. I do have a facebook and a myspace with far more pics if you honestly are interested. My facebook has the most.

The photos below are:

1. Kitten and I at my version of Cheers. I don't know if I can think of a better thing to call it. The Hole in the Wall maybe. You'll see that brickwork in the back often. That table is our favorite.

2. Kitten and the lovely Mystery, the head of our local NANO group and my good friend. I need to upload her wedding photos sometime. That would be good.

3. Me looking like an 80's rock star. In the back you'll see NB and Guitar Hero messing about.

Pics of tatoos forthcoming. I swear.